Accent: Midwestern, although some southern stuff is creeping in. For example, I don’t work in Norfolk, VA, I work in Nahfuk. A y’all or two creeps in now and then.
Booze of choice: Fuki plum wine. I often get a very odd look from the occasional waitperson when I ask if they have that particular brand. I call it the “Cocker Spaniel” look. Slight tilt of the head to the side, a bit of slack in the jaw, and an unsaid “HUH?”Chore I hate: Trimming after mowing. A guy a couple of miles from here uses a herd of goats. I don’t think our homeowners’ association would buy into that.
Dog or Cat: Dog, but I’ve never owned one. My kids keep buying Felis silvestris catus just to torture me when I visit. Severely allergic.
Essential electronics: Computer, of course. How did we even survive without these infernal machines?
Favorite cologne: Hai Karate . . . kidding. Don’t use any.
Gold or Silver: Gold. The more, the better. I also take checks, money orders and promissory notes.
Hometown: Born in St. Louis, MO. Raised in Virden, IL. Lived in Peoria, IL; Omaha, NE; Overland Park, KS; Virginia Beach, VA.
Insomnia: Let me sleep on that one. I’ll let you know.
Job Title: Professional Engineer.
Kids: Three. One girl, two boys. All grown, married, and with kids of their own. All three are amazingly talented.
Living Arrangement: With my wife, in a subdivision surrounded by an Arnold Palmer golf course and about five miles from the Atlantic Ocean. Oh . . . and our tax assessment went up 56% this last year. That’s fiftyfreakingpercent, folks, which raises a question: WHY is the local government entitled to a windfall profit just because of supply and demand in the housing market? Virginia Beach’s needs haven’t increased just because people are willing to spend more on housing.
Most-admired trait: I am trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. At least, that’s what Robert Stephenson Smyth Baden-Powell asked me to be. I can’t believe I still remember that.
Number of Sexual Partners: Fugeddaboutit. As if anyone needs to know.
Overnight Hospital Stays: Several. The worst was a knee repair. The medial collateral was repaired, but the Dorktor removed my anterior cruciate. Yep, I meant to spell it that way. The oddest was a week I spent in Memorial Hospital in Springfield IL while in the 2nd grade. I had no idea why I was there, and no one seemed to want to tell me. Over the years I forgot about it, then one day when I was about 30, I asked my Mother about it. It seems that our local doctor thought I might have Polio. I didn’t.
Phobia: Clostro- and acro-. No airplane window seats for me.
Quote: "There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don’t."
Religion: Christian/Presbyterian.
Siblings: One, a younger brother. He’s retired, and I’m not. Where’s the justice?
Time I wake up: 0420.
Unusual talent/skill: Sewing – by hand and machine. I made all of the drapes for our new house. I have also made reproduction Civil War era uniforms and clothing - like the greatcoat to the right.
Vegetable I refuse to eat: Asparagus, rhubarb. Yeah, that’s two, but I absolutely hate them both.
Worst habit: I think it’s procrastination. I intend to look into that someday, but I keep putting it off.
X-rays: You could compose a full-size, semi-transparent rendering of me if you combined all of my X-rays.
Yummy foods I make: Scratch-built lemon pie with a raspberry custard layer on top and real meringue. Sounds odd, but it is really, really good.
Zodiac sign: Capricorn. I share it with, among others: Tycho Brahe; Kit Carson; Ava Gardner (she of Post Office fame); Cab Calloway; Rod Serling; Rudyard Kipling; Simon Wiesenthal & Herman Goering (obviously God has a strange sense of humor); Joseph Stalin & Mao Zedong (It’s kind of creepy sharing any kind of sign with two of the most prolific killers of all time.) In the Chinese zodiac, I’m a horse (water.)
