Held Prisoner in Hampton Roads

Vuvuzelas . . .

. . . have another use.

I am not a big fan of soccer/futbol/calcistico/whatever. I know, I'm in Europe and I should "get with the program."

I can't.

I don't enjoy the game. I've tried, and it just holds no interest for me.

That opinion was sealed for me last night. I tuned in the US/UK match because the US men have not had a stellar record in the World Cup. I simply could not watch the entire match because of the insane South Africans and their damnable plastic horns.

Tradition or not, folks, you are RUINING the cup.

As for other use for the vuvuzelas, the "fans" can stick them up their collective arses and play me a hornpipe. That, I would watch.