Adventures . . .
. . . with the Japanese language.
No, I don't speak Japanese, but 25 years in the martial arts and watching a LOT of Japanese movies gave me a few phrases that sometimes come in handy. I picked up most of it by watching Shogun about a dozen times.
A few years ago, I was meeting with three Japanese businessmen who were interested in qualifying their company as a supplier for the company I worked for. Anyone who has done business with the Japanese understands that it is impolite to proceed without some friendly chit-chat, reverent inspection of business cards, and general socializing.
We talked a little about families, a little about travel, a little about the city, then one of them noticed my Taekwondo 3rd-degree black belt certificate hanging behind my desk.
Him: I see you study martial arts. Do you hold a black belt?
Me: Yes, I am a Taekwondo sandan ( 3rd degree).
Him: Ah. In Japan, Karate is very difficult. Maybe there you would only be a shodan (1st degree.)
Me, rather pissed off, but very calm, and in (what I suspect was) rather firm, but imperfect Japanese: Nante itta-noyo? Nande sonna-koto iun-dayo?! Shodan? Iie! Watashiwa sandan desu. Wakarimasu ka? (Translation: What did you say? Why do you talk like that! First degree black belt? NO! I am a third degree black belt. Do you understand?)
Him: Dead silence.
His boss, Fixing him with a stare that would have drilled a hole in solid granite: Some Japanese words I did not understand.
Me: Now, how can I help you?
The only other time I had the right phrase was in a Japanese restaurant at a teppan yaki grill. One of the people at the table was wearing a hand guard from a samurai sword. He showed it to the Japanese chef, but the chef didn't know what it was.
Me: Kore wa nihonto tsuba desu. (This is a guard for a samurai sword).
Chef: Ah! Wakarimasu. Arigato Gozimasu. (Ah. I understand. Thanks.)
The downside was he now thought I spoke Japanese, and he asked me a few more questions - so I had to tell him: Watashi wa nihon-go ga hanase masen.
This seemed to confuse him, because I just told him in Japanese that I don't speak Japanese.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
What I did today . . .
a. Juggled Excel spreadsheets all day at work until my eyes crossed. Why? Because the government funding for building maintenance and repair at the Naval base partially depends on my sharply honed analytical skills.
b. Tried to deal with our health insurance company because bills for routine tests run by our doctor are never properly coded. The lab then thinks we're not insured, and they bill us separately. Every time. They eventually fix it, but they still do it again. Every time.
c. Posted a recipe for sweet bread dough on Pinkjellybaby's blog because she's been jonesing for frosted buns.
d. Made four sleeves for a couple of reproduction shirts from the 1860's that I'm sewing from left-over fabric from my Civil War reenactment days. Why? Idle hands and all that. Really, though, I hated to see authentic loom-woven, hand dyed cloth go to waste, and I can probably sell them if I choose.
e. Rebuilt an AK-47 (the preferred weapon of your enemy, according to Clint Eastwood) with a new hammer, sear, trigger and gas piston. Why? Idle hands again, I guess. In any case it needed some work. Don't worry. It's not a machine gun. It's just a rifle that Mr. Clinton tried to ban because it looks nasty.
How about you?
a. Juggled Excel spreadsheets all day at work until my eyes crossed. Why? Because the government funding for building maintenance and repair at the Naval base partially depends on my sharply honed analytical skills.
b. Tried to deal with our health insurance company because bills for routine tests run by our doctor are never properly coded. The lab then thinks we're not insured, and they bill us separately. Every time. They eventually fix it, but they still do it again. Every time.
c. Posted a recipe for sweet bread dough on Pinkjellybaby's blog because she's been jonesing for frosted buns.
d. Made four sleeves for a couple of reproduction shirts from the 1860's that I'm sewing from left-over fabric from my Civil War reenactment days. Why? Idle hands and all that. Really, though, I hated to see authentic loom-woven, hand dyed cloth go to waste, and I can probably sell them if I choose.
e. Rebuilt an AK-47 (the preferred weapon of your enemy, according to Clint Eastwood) with a new hammer, sear, trigger and gas piston. Why? Idle hands again, I guess. In any case it needed some work. Don't worry. It's not a machine gun. It's just a rifle that Mr. Clinton tried to ban because it looks nasty.
How about you?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
You just can't . . .
. . . make this stuff up.
Item the first: So, how do you aim the cow at that little bottle?
Item the second: I wouldn't try that trick in Harlem.
. . . make this stuff up.
Item the first: So, how do you aim the cow at that little bottle?
Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India's Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.
The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India's biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.
Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink – called "gau jal", or "cow water" – in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched "very soon, maybe by the end of this year".
"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. "Its USP will be that it's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."
Item the second: I wouldn't try that trick in Harlem.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals knows how to grab attention. And show off its laundry.
The animal rights group, which every year stages a protest at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, had two of its members dress in Ku Klux Klan garb outside Madison Square Garden on Monday.
Their goal, according to a post on the PETA website, was to draw a parallel between the KKK and the American Kennel Club. "Obviously it's an uncomfortable comparison," PETA spokesman Michael McGraw told the Associated Press.
But the AKC is trying to create a "master race" when it comes to pure-bred dogs, he added. "It's a very apt comparison."The group passed out brochures implying the Klan and AKC have the goal of "pure bloodlines" in common.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
I've been tagged . . .
. . . by Lisa
I was surprised, because pretty much no one reads my blog - so, I figured why not?
Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave acomment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
So, here are my six random things – although, at my age, randomness is pretty much a given.
1. I married my high school sweetheart. Mrs. B and I attended the same schools from the 6th grade forward and hardly knew each other. Then, in the winter of our sophomore year, I noticed her standing on the steps, and asked a friend, “who is THAT?” I asked her to the winter dance, and we’ve been together ever since. Four days ago, we celebrated our 46th anniversary.
2. For some reason, I have an attraction to sewing. I guess it’s the challenge of figuring it out. I made almost all the drapes for our last two homes, a complete U. S. Civil War uniform with all the accoutrements and a bridesmaid dress for one of our daughters-in-law. I was once given a sewing machine as a present. I still suspect ulterior motives on the part of the giver.
3. You could call me an old softie and I wouldn’t complain. It’s especially true when our military is concerned. I get a lump in my throat every time there’s a flyover at a football game, NASCAR race or a memorial ceremony. The last flight of about 20 F-14 Tomcats flying home after their last mission before decommissioning had tears running down my face. I was on a harbor tour boat when the USS Cole was returned to service at Naval Station Norfolk. It was emotional.
4. I’m a car freak. I know it’s irrational, but I grew up in the years just before the musclecar boom. The first car I bought when I got a real job was a 1968 GTO. It’s never stopped. Give me some major parts, a bunch of steel stock, nuts and bolts, the right machinery and adequate time in the garage, and I can build one. I also have the go-fast gene in my DNA – although it’s generally under control on the highway. On the racetrack, my top speed ever was 173 mph. Adrenalin city, that was.
5. Patrick Swayze is a distant cousin, as are Daniel Boone, and the late actor William Holden. Also somewhere in the attic is Sir Leonard Holliday, a founder of the East India Company, and a Lord Mayor of London.
6. I am fully, totally addicted to “The Avengers” – that 1960’s Brit spy/adventure series with Patrick Macnee, Honor Blackman, Diana Rigg and Linda Thorson. I got hooked on it during it’s 1967-69 showing on ABC, and the later repeats on A&E. Since it’s no longer shown on U.S. TV, I have managed to obtain the entire collection – some 161 episodes on about 40 DVDs. I’m working my way through the first season now.
Sorry, but Lisa, Gemmak, Jannie, Punctuation, Dave and Pinkjellybaby . . . you've been tagged.
. . . by Lisa
I was surprised, because pretty much no one reads my blog - so, I figured why not?
Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave acomment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
So, here are my six random things – although, at my age, randomness is pretty much a given.
1. I married my high school sweetheart. Mrs. B and I attended the same schools from the 6th grade forward and hardly knew each other. Then, in the winter of our sophomore year, I noticed her standing on the steps, and asked a friend, “who is THAT?” I asked her to the winter dance, and we’ve been together ever since. Four days ago, we celebrated our 46th anniversary.
2. For some reason, I have an attraction to sewing. I guess it’s the challenge of figuring it out. I made almost all the drapes for our last two homes, a complete U. S. Civil War uniform with all the accoutrements and a bridesmaid dress for one of our daughters-in-law. I was once given a sewing machine as a present. I still suspect ulterior motives on the part of the giver.
3. You could call me an old softie and I wouldn’t complain. It’s especially true when our military is concerned. I get a lump in my throat every time there’s a flyover at a football game, NASCAR race or a memorial ceremony. The last flight of about 20 F-14 Tomcats flying home after their last mission before decommissioning had tears running down my face. I was on a harbor tour boat when the USS Cole was returned to service at Naval Station Norfolk. It was emotional.
4. I’m a car freak. I know it’s irrational, but I grew up in the years just before the musclecar boom. The first car I bought when I got a real job was a 1968 GTO. It’s never stopped. Give me some major parts, a bunch of steel stock, nuts and bolts, the right machinery and adequate time in the garage, and I can build one. I also have the go-fast gene in my DNA – although it’s generally under control on the highway. On the racetrack, my top speed ever was 173 mph. Adrenalin city, that was.
5. Patrick Swayze is a distant cousin, as are Daniel Boone, and the late actor William Holden. Also somewhere in the attic is Sir Leonard Holliday, a founder of the East India Company, and a Lord Mayor of London.
6. I am fully, totally addicted to “The Avengers” – that 1960’s Brit spy/adventure series with Patrick Macnee, Honor Blackman, Diana Rigg and Linda Thorson. I got hooked on it during it’s 1967-69 showing on ABC, and the later repeats on A&E. Since it’s no longer shown on U.S. TV, I have managed to obtain the entire collection – some 161 episodes on about 40 DVDs. I’m working my way through the first season now.
Sorry, but Lisa, Gemmak, Jannie, Punctuation, Dave and Pinkjellybaby . . . you've been tagged.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Tunnel vision . . .
. . . or, "Why I sat in traffic for almost an hour today.
We have tunnels here. More tunnels than bridges because of the large amount of military and commercial ship traffic. Tunnels are less of a bother to ships than bridges.
And that's all OK, except people do funny things at tunnels.
Some folks get halfway through and stop. Frozen and unable to continue. Then traffic stops while a tender clears the jam behind them and takes them out.
People slow down at the tunnel's mouth. I guess because the dark entrance looks like a portal to Old Scratch's anteroom.
Trucks too tall for the tunnels drive in and wedge themselves. Nevermind that there are warning signs with the exact clearance for miles before.
Today was a new experience.
As I approached the downtown Norfolk tunnel, all traffic came to a halt. A car in the leftmost lane appeared to have a flat tire. The car was stopped next to a wide apron between the two tunnels. No problem, says I. They can pull it over there and we're on our way.
Wrong. I tend to be logical, but often logic does not govern. The tunnel minders proceeded to bring up a service truck, jack up the car, and change the tire RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING INTERSTATE.
Two lanes of freeway traffic were held up for almost an hour while the car owner and lots of guys-in-yellow-jumpsuits first had a cabinet meeting to determine strategy, then became shade-tree mechanics while hundreds of not-so-amused drivers sat and watched.
Ron White is correct. You just can't fix stupid.
. . . or, "Why I sat in traffic for almost an hour today.
We have tunnels here. More tunnels than bridges because of the large amount of military and commercial ship traffic. Tunnels are less of a bother to ships than bridges.
And that's all OK, except people do funny things at tunnels.
Some folks get halfway through and stop. Frozen and unable to continue. Then traffic stops while a tender clears the jam behind them and takes them out.
People slow down at the tunnel's mouth. I guess because the dark entrance looks like a portal to Old Scratch's anteroom.
Trucks too tall for the tunnels drive in and wedge themselves. Nevermind that there are warning signs with the exact clearance for miles before.
Today was a new experience.
As I approached the downtown Norfolk tunnel, all traffic came to a halt. A car in the leftmost lane appeared to have a flat tire. The car was stopped next to a wide apron between the two tunnels. No problem, says I. They can pull it over there and we're on our way.
Wrong. I tend to be logical, but often logic does not govern. The tunnel minders proceeded to bring up a service truck, jack up the car, and change the tire RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING INTERSTATE.
Two lanes of freeway traffic were held up for almost an hour while the car owner and lots of guys-in-yellow-jumpsuits first had a cabinet meeting to determine strategy, then became shade-tree mechanics while hundreds of not-so-amused drivers sat and watched.
Ron White is correct. You just can't fix stupid.
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