Grandkids say . . .

. . . things you might not expect.

These are from some time back:

T (walking by the bathroom): Whatcha doing mommy? Takin' a dump?

A : Where's the effing phone?
Mommy: A, we don't say that word.
A: No, no, phone starts with a "P" where's the "F"?

The election . . .

As a preface, I am an engineer (the science kind, not a train driver), so my after action report is based on analysis rather than emotion. I am glad this election is over. Both campaigns were run more on personality and sound bites than facts and programs. Both spent way too much money, and the process was simply too long. We simply cannot afford to spend fully half the term of a president trying to decide whom the next will be.

That said:

I believe that Obama feels his menu of programs is the best for the country.

I believe that a he is incorrect on at least a part of that menu - perhaps a major part

I believe that Bush felt his menu of programs was the best for the country.

I believe that he was incorrect on at least a part of that menu - perhaps a major part.

I believe that Bush's choice of advisers/minions/staff was badly chosen, that they executed his agenda badly, and that his singular focus on the war on terror - albeit important - badly neglected parts of the country's needs.

I believe that people who are gloating over Obama's win are ill-mannered clods who don't know how to win gracefully.

I believe, in that same vein, that Joy Behar was a c*nt before the election, and remains a c*nt afterwards.

I believe that people who are crying in their beer, looking for excuses for the loss, and vowing revenge are also ill-mannered clods who don't know how to lose gracefully.

I believe that more people voted for Obama because he is black than voted against him for the same reason. I do not necessarily find that to be unexpected, nor do I see it as racist.

I believe that Obama has won fairly, and that people should support any of his programs that they believe are in the best interest of the country.

I believe that people who disagree with any of his programs that they believe are not in the best interest of country the should oppose them ethically, and with all of the legal power and ability they possess.

I believe that Obama won gracefully, McCain lost gracefully, and Bush has been graceful in responding to the results.

I believe that we have a duly elected government, that we should support what we can, oppose what we cannot, and get on down the road.

Odds 'n ends. . .


How much time do you spend commuting? Here's the setup. I live 23 miles from where I work. That's my choice, so I have to live with it. Between driving to the park & ride and the bus trip to the base, I spend a one hour going and about an hour and a quarter returning.


I have a flex schedule, so I have every other Friday off. Considering that, plus holidays, plus vacation, I make that trip 207 times per year.


When I do the math - 207 days x 2.25 hours/day, that's the equivalent of 58 eight-hour days in transit. Amazing, wot?

It's not wasted, though. It provides some well-needed reading time. On the bus, that is . . . not driving to the park and ride.

BBC World News America . . .

. . . in Washington D.C.

Katty Kay is a very bright, personable representative of the BBC in the U.S. She's the Washington correspondant, and has a pretty good handle on what's going on.

I love her accent. However, when she speaks of "Obamer in Virginyer," it makes my ears hurt.

I guess our Brit friends feel the same way when some one says
Wor-ses-ter-shire sauce.

I don't know about you . . .

. . . but this guy creeps me out.

I don't care much for his hamburgers either.

Friday . . .

. . . wanderings.

I promised not to blog about politics, but traffic, law and math are still fair game.

Item the first:
It's Halloween, so I wore a Union Army uniform to work today. I walked into my commander's office and told him that General Grant ordered me to relieve him of command. He was more than willing to comply.

Item the second:
Obama has promised a tax refund to 95% of Americans. 46% of Americans don't pay federal income taxes. Does this mean that the 46% will get 100% of zero back?

Item the third:
Mrs. B went to the hospital for pre-surgery tests to day. We were informed that they were open between 6:30 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. We arrived at 6:30. Paperwork was promptly taken care of, but the nurse doesn't arrive until 8:00 a.m. That would have been good information up front, wouldn't it? How can you be "open" if the key person isn't there to do the work?

Item the fourth:
I was late getting home last night because our bus (and all other traffic) was stopped for the Obama motorcade. He came to Hampton Roads to lie like a rug hold a rally at 5:45 - right in the middle of the rush hour. He just lost my vote. Wait . . . I already voted. nevermind.

Item the fifth:
- An empty noose gets kids expelled from school.
- Two people are arrested for hanging Obama in effigy in Kentucky.
- Palin hanged in effigy in California. Everyone giggles.
Explanations abound. Logic does not.

Item the sixth:
My bus is full in the morning because of the cost of gas. There are two men who get aboard at the first stop. They sit in the aisle seat, plop their lunch bags or backpacks in the window seat, and bury their noses in a book or newspaper. Every morning, someone has to ask them to move over. Arseholes.

Item the seventh:
The U.S. government spent something north of $150,000,000 installing a pay-for-performance system for civilian employees. What has it done? It was the brainchild of Rumsfeld and Wolfowicz, so that might give you a hint. Answer: not much. Management didn't like the ratings, so we're forced to change them, and everyone is getting pretty much what they would have gotten before. Amazing.

Horror movies . . .

. . . rules of engagement.

- If you hear a noise in the basement, you MUST go investigate. "I can't imagine why that blood-curdling scream came from downstairs. It must be the cat. I'll go look. Darn, the lights don't work . . ."

- If your door is open and there are bloody footprints, you MUST look inside to see what's going on. "That looks like red paint. Those twelve people lying over there must have slipped in it. I better check . . ."

- If you are being chased by a madman in a car, you MUST run down the center of the street. "If I just stay on this yellow line, Christine won't be able to run me down!"

- If you go into a spooky house with a partner, you MUST split up. "Ill take the basement, you look upstairs . . ."

- If you have a party with friends, it MUST be in a dark place with a spooky reputation. "Hey, let's get some beer and go out to the Johnson place. You know, where that kid killed 27 people with an axe. It'll be a blast . . ."

- If you kill the monster, you MUST turn your back . . . so he can rise up and attack you again. "I pushed him down the steps, so even though I've shot him, hacked him with an axe, and immolated him with gasoline, the fall MUST have killed him. I'm glad that's over . . ."

- If you're lost and almost out of gas on a lonely road, you MUST stop at a run-down motel or an old house in the middle of the woods to ask for directions. "Norman, can you direct me to the nearest gas station?"

- If you shoot the demon six times and bullets don't hurt him, you MUST throw your gun at him.

- If you have escaped the monster, but found you have left your high school class ring in the house, you MUST go back for it. "My grandmother bought that ring, so I don't care if there are 19 bodies hacked to death inside . . . I'm going back for my ring."

- You can drive for hours, but when you must escape from the monster, your car WILL NOT start. "I don't understand. This is a brand-new, $150,000 BMW. It started the last 500 times . . ."

- While you are being chased around the house by the monster, NONE of the doors or windows will open, the lights won't work, and the phone will be dead. "I'll just click the phone 20 or thirty times. That'll make it work."

- You can have enough evidence to convict Charles Manson, including photographs, witnesses and bloody body parts, but the police/parents/neighbors WILL still not believe you. "Sorry, son, but all those photos of bodies in the basement look like a prank to me - and that stuff on your shirt, shoes, pants and face must be spaghetti sauce."

- If you are at a party in a strange place, you MUST NOT BE the hot chick/macho guy. They will be the first victims.

- If you're making out in a car on a lonely road, that noise you just heard WASN'T the wind. "Honey, what was that scratching that sounded like steel fingernails being dragged across the car fender? Don't worry about it, it was just the wind. Now why can't I get this unhooked?"

- If you're in a dark place, your flashlight WILL NOT WORK.

- If you've had sex, you're GOING TO DIE.

- You CANNOT run faster than the bad guy can walk.

- If you're a cheerleader, you're GOING TO DIE.

Happy Halloween!