It is not only spoken . . .

. . . it is also written.

The first thing you will wanna get out is a sauce pan and heat it on a medium low flame.

Is it not bad enough that our speech has become terribly sloppy? Does our writing also have to be this undisciplined? I understand that "wanna" and "gonna" roll off the tongue easier than "going to" and "want to," but it is lazy speech.

It also seems that a new style has emerged.

Why use 10 words when 50 will do?

Perhaps: "In a sauce pan on medium heat . . ."

Yes, I'm grumpy today.

Deal with it.

Cold enough . . .

. . . to freeze the balls off of a brass monkey.

Cannon balls aboard Navy ships were once stored on brass racks. Since brass contracts under cold temperatures, an extremely cold night would cause the brass racks to shrink enough to actually pop out any iron cannon balls they contained.

Heard that one?

Civil war reenactors and military types like to show how much they know by quoting this old saw.

Taint true, McGee.

The differential between the coefficients of thermal expansion of brass and iron are not sufficient to cause this metallic primate castration.

This science moment has been brought to you by my lack of anthing intelligent to write.

Dude . . .

. . . Do you have to bow to everyone?

Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18 KJV

When is the last time your heard that correctly quoted - and correctly attributed? By the way, said fall should occur ca. 201 - with any luck, that is.

Sneak thieves . . .

. . . tried to burgle two houses about 125 meters up the street from us.

At one casa, they put out the night lights and broke the judas gate, but could not get inside. At the casa next door, they tried the same approach, but the occupants were at home and frightened them away.

We are concerned, but not overly so. These arseholes are are opportunists, not home invaders.

In addition to electronic countermeasures connected to the carabinieri, (which I will not describe here), we have other physical security.

I don't mind showing them, because they are common knowledge in Italy.

All our doors and windows have heavy-gauge steel shutters that have shot pins into the marble sills and concrete headers.

We also have bank vault-type deadbolts on all of the exterior doors, which are shot into solid steel frames.

It's a bit sad that folks in this part of Italy have to live in fortified housing, but that's the way it is, so we adapt.

What's even worse is that Italian - and most European - laws do not allow us to protect ourselves. We are allowed to use only "sufficient force" to stop a robbery, or even an assault. Play Whack-a-Mole with a burglar in Italy, and you're on your way to jail.

I differ with that theory. I believe that my house is my castle, and that anyone who breaks in intends to do me harm. I also believe that I have the right to use whatever force I deem necessary to rectifiy the situation.

My definition of "sufficent force" is 230 grains of copper-clad lead moving at 900 feet per second.

This brought . . .

. . . a tear to my eye

Listen to elizabeth's crystal clear voice. Notice her total composure when the microphone failed. Hear the audience back her up and finish the Anthem.

With all the vitriol being spouted by the talking heads on television and the politicians everywhere, moments like this are wonderful, simply wonderful.

A little hypocricy . . .

. . . goes a long way

The liberal left is all up in arms about this map, because Sarah Palin undoubtably was the proximate cause of Rep. Giffords' assination attempt.

Now, would you care to guess which party paraded this map? Not a hard guess, is it?

Lefty columnists and mainstream media are unabashedly using this tragedy for political gain.

It's reprehensible.

Maybe . . .

. . .I'm too picky

But, I expect quality novelists to have some ability to check facts - or have them checked.

I'm currently reading "The Death Trust" by David Rollins. It has a good start, but there are an unexpected number of errors.

In discussing the habit of middle easterners to fire their weapons into the air for practically any reason, he says:

"The slugs always came back to earth, and when they did, they were every bit as lethal as aimed rounds fired from the shoulder."

Bzzzzzzzzzzt. Wrong! Old wives' tale.

Take a 5.56 x 45 NATO round for example. It leaves the muzzle at 3,100 feet/sec. When falling back to earth, it's maximum velocity is about 175 feet/sec. That makes the energy at the muzzle about 1,325 ft-lbs, and the energy of the falling bullet is about 5.0 ft-lbs. So, it's about 0.4% as deadly - but that won't make a good story. Something weighing a little over a tenth of an ounce at that speed wouldn't be comfortable, but a good felt hat would be sufficient protection.

Then, there's the general whose glider shed its wings and took him nose-first into the ground.

"General Scott hit the base of a towering pine tree at two hindred and ninety-one miles per hour."

Bzzzzzzzzzzt. Wrong!

While free-fall speeds over 200 mph are possible near sea level, it takes an experienced skydiver, not someone in a broken glider wetting his nappies because he only has seconds to live.

Of course, General Scott was important because of the job he held.

"He was the CO of Ramstein Air Base. A four-star heavy hitter"

Bzzzzzzzzzzt. Wrong!

With very rare exceptions, Commanding officers of American military bases are Army, Air Force or Marine colonels or Navy captains.

And I'm only up to page 15.