Monday, March 30, 2009

Socialism . . .

. . . is being born in the USA.

Anyone who doesn't believe it needs to read news like this:
DETROIT – General Motors Corp. Chairman and CEO Rick Wagoner will step down immediately at the request of the White House, administration officials said Sunday.

The government already owns significant portions of major banks and insurance companies, and it will only get worse under this administration.

Why am I worried? Because, aside from the armed forces, nothing the government runs works worth a damn.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Someone . . .

. . . needs to say this to Barry O.

YES WE CAN . . .

. . . as I see it.

Can we rack up a deficit larger than the previous 43 presidents . . . combined?


Can we borrow our way out of debt?


Can we tax our way out of a recession?


Can we legislate without understanding the laws we’re making?


Can we spend billions on bail-outs, but not know where the money went?


Can we blame everything on someone else?


Can we speak without a teleprompter?

Ummm . . . err . . . well . . . ahhh . . .

Monday, March 23, 2009

Google . . .

. . . knows where I live.

. . . and so does Microsoft.

It's a bit disconcerting, don't you think?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Waterless urinals . . .

In the spirit of "a green environment," the Naval stations are installing waterless urinals. They have a drain and a chemical tablet, but no flush. They capped the water supply pipe with a little chrome cap.

So, when I walk into the mens' room today, a gentleman is banging on the little chrome cap, and saying it won't flush. I bit my tongue so I wouldn't say: "what about "waterless" don't you get, dude?"

So this is new? Back when I was a kid, we had waterless urinals. We called them either outhouses . . . or oak trees.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Odds . . .

. . . and ends.

Item the first: Years ago, televisions were connected to antennas, and telephones were connected to cables. Now, televisions are connected to cables, and telephones are connected to antennas. What next?

Item the second: A Londoner was wandering down Brewer street, when he chanced to meet a lady who was apparently an independent contractor. A contract was indeed negotiated, and during it's execution, the Londoner noticed that the lady was rapidly nodding her head. When the contract was completed, the Londoner, expecting an after-action report, asked her if she enjoyed herself. "No, ducks," she said. "You just tucked in a bit o' me scarf."

Item the third: Speaking of Paris fashion (ok, I wasn't, but I am now), Is there a single item in the Alexander McQueen line that you would wear - or reccommend to a lady friend, if you're of the guy persuasion?
In a season so bereft of surprises, the whistles and cheers that rained down on the designer as he took his bows proved just how sorely this level of creativity has been missed.
Creativity? Really?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Decorating . . .

through double entendre.

I was reading the other day, and Mrs. B was watching a decorating show on the Home and Garden channel. I wasn't paying attention until the interior designer, in describing the new room, said: "At least, now the drapes match the carpet."

Mrs. B couldn't figure out why I was falling over laughing.

My apologies to my daughter . . . who (very occasionally) reads my blog.